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Voyeuristic MasturbationWatching your partner masturbate can be arousing and educational! It can allow you to learn little tricks about what they like. A good way to experience this is by lying down facing one another. If you feel shy about eye contact, take turns looking up at each other. Seska Lee back to top - back to sex tip archive Foreplay AllplayThere is no international protocol on the order of sex acts in a given sexual encounter. Once you are both aroused you can jump all over the map. You can start with intercourse, throw in a little masturbation for good measure, move on to oral sex and then finish things up with hand jobs. That is just one example. Mix it up and repeat as necessary. back to top - back to sex tip archive Call for Back UpRifampin is the only antibiotic that has been proven to interfere with the effectiveness of birth control pills. Doctors still suggest that you use a backup contraceptive while on any antibiotic. Some options? Try male condoms, the female condom, or a diaphragm. Seska Lee back to top - back to sex tip archive Not On the RimWomen used to be advised to apply spermicide around the rim of the diaphragm to kill any sperm that tried to pass, but this also caused the diaphragm to move around. It is best to place a tablespoon of spermicidal jelly or cream on the inside of the dome and avoid the rim. Remember that the diaphragm does not protect against Sexually Transmitted Infections. Use a condom to reduce the risk of infection. Seska Lee back to top - back to sex tip archive Sex & Your Immunity SystemMy husband James has the flu so in honour of his condition I wanted to mention how experts believe that having sex improves immunity by increasing production of IGA (a protein from the immune system that helps fight infections). Natural opioid peptides are release during sex and these feel good chemicals in turn boost production of IGA. Two times a week seems optimal but three or more times a week causes IGA levels to decrease. So have sex twice a week for better health! Seska Lee back to top - back to sex tip archive Back Door ActionSelect anal sex toys carefully. They should be perfectly smooth and nonabrasive because the rectal tissue is delicate and can be easily damaged. They should have a flared base so that they won't slip too far inside (the rectum continues into the colon). Use plenty of lubricant as the rectum absorbs moisture rather than produces it (at least in the way tends to enjoy when engaging in anal play). Seska Lee back to top - back to sex tip archive Kegels & ArousalKegel exercises involve regular clenching and unclenching of the pubococcygeus muscles (you can identify them when you start and stop during urination). The exercises are said to improve muscle tone of these muscles, prevent or reduce pelvic floor problems, and urinary incontinence in both men and women. I find them useful to do prior to sexual activities because they are a discrete way for me to draw energy towards my genitals and to focus on genital sensations. This helps arouse me and physically prepare me for sexual activities. So if you need a little boost of energy to get you going sexually do some Kegels. Seska Lee back to top - back to sex tip archive From a Men's MagazineI don’t like buying men’s magazines. I do it because I want to be up to date on what is going in the world of men, or more accurately what the media wants us to think is going on in the world of men. As someone who writes about sex I always check out those articles first. More often than not the sex advice in them is off putting and uninspired. However in the May 2006 Men’s Health there is a an excellent top ten list of tips on the female orgasm by Debby Herbenick, Ph.D. I appreciated the emphasis on how a lengthy build up can have good results. Sure, there are exceptions. Sometimes a fast and furious encounter is what a woman wants, but these tips are about something else. Those times when the focus is about pleasure and building up to her orgasm. In these instances, doing things that follow a woman’s natural sexual response just makes sense. Here is one of her tips.
Seska Lee back to top - back to sex tip archive Silicone LubeSilicone lube should never be used with sex toys made of silicone as it can challenge the toy’s physical integrity (well, that sounded funny!). Basically, they can fall apart. You can use silicone lubricant with condoms and for masturbation. They remain slick when mixed with water so they can be ideal to use in the shower. However, they can be harder to clean up and that includes removing them from your body. If you are prone to urinary tract infections or yeast infections speak to an expert at woman friendly sex shop like Come As You Are to find the right lube for you. Seska Lee back to top - back to sex tip archive Getting Used to CondomsI like condoms. I use them with my main partner when I am not in the mood to wear my diaphragm and consistently with any of my other male partners. It is a safer sex choice and helps prevent unwanted pregnancy. Some men complain that they cannot get or maintain an erection when using condoms. If that is the case masturbating while wearing a condom can help. You can also wear them during oral sex. Having your partner roll it down your shaft with their mouth can be a sexy manoeuvre. Some men find putting a bit of lube on the penis before putting on a condom can help with their comfort during intercourse. Being comfortable using condoms is really important. Protecting yourself from STI’s is in your best interest and your partners’. Seska Lee back to top - back to sex tip archive Position GuideLooking for some ideas on different sexual positions? Here is a fun little visual guide featuring a male-female couple. Seska Lee back to top - back to sex tip archive Protect YourselfDid you know that there is a vaccine available to protect yourself from Hepatitis A and B?
In Canada there is a universal childhood hepatitis B vaccination program. If you are older and missed out on this vaccine, it is still available to you - especially if you have more than one sexual partner. For more information visit Sexuality and U and speak to your doctor. Seska Lee back to top - back to sex tip archive Not So SweetIt might sound like a fun idea at the time but do not use sugary foods like candy, jam and syrup to sweeten up your sex life. Sugary foods can cause infections when inserted or rubbed around the vagina. Seska Lee back to top - back to sex tip archive When He Doesn’t Want to Orgasm Too QuicklyMasturbation is an excellent way for a man to have a better sense of control over his orgasm. Stimulate yourself until you feel you are about to come, then stop and hold off. Let yourself get soft and then masturbate some more. Do this three or four times and then go for it. Practice this technique for a few months and you should be able to use this technique when you are with a partner. Seska Lee back to top - back to sex tip archive Wrap AroundI use the term hand jobs whether the receiver is a man or woman. I figure if there is hand to genital contact then it deserves the name. Not that I think such an activity is a job. That all depends on your attitude. You can give a hand job in a variety of positions. The most comfortable position for me is to have the receiver lie on his or her back and then I kneel, lie or sit beside them to engage in my handiwork (when I am getting the hands on attention I like this set up as well). However, from time to time I like to mix things up. On some occasions I like to give a wrap around hand job. Here is how it goes: the giver is behind the receiver and she/he reaches around to hold and stroke the penis (or rub the clitoris and vulva). Typically, we do this kneeling on the bed, but you could do it standing up if that is comfortable for you. If body shape and size makes reaching around difficult (especially if the giver is much smaller than the receiver), then make an adjustment and place the giver to the side rather than the back. One of the perks of doing a wrap around hand job is that you can mimic better the hand placement used during masturbation. The giver can also press her/his body against the receiver. If you are into dirty talk you can whisper in each other’s ears. If nipple or breast play is a turn on the giver can also use her/his other hand to stimulate the receiver’s chest. Another way to heighten the experience is to do a wrap around hand job in front of a mirror so you can watch yourselves as you go along. If the receiver is a man (or a woman who gushes from this stimulation), you might want to be prepared with a towel in front of you. Being prepared for the clean up is always a wise move. Seska Lee back to top - back to sex tip archive Playing Safe with Sex ToysWhen using certain sex toys it is essential that you use a condom with them. Example? Vibrating Eggs. Often times people insert these toys into the vagina or anus and when they try to remove it they pull on the cord. This is not a good thing to do. The cord can break and it can be difficult, even impossible, for you to remove the egg yourself. Be smart and use a condom. If using a vibrating egg vaginally you can use a female condom. Insert the female condom and them insert the egg. When you are done you can just remove the condom with the egg inside it. Use a male condom if you are using the egg in your anus (you can also use a male condom vaginally, but it might go in a little deeper or bunch up). Just make sure to leave some of the condom on the outside so you can tug on it gently to remove it.
Seska Lee back to top - back to sex tip archive The Gift of TimeOver the holidays the sex news pretty much dries up. Researchers are not releasing studies and (religious) government officials are not making proclamations against sex before marriage. To fill the void before Christmas many sex writers came up with sex toy gift giving guides. There were so many good ones already posted here, here and here that I did not feel I needed to add to them. I also have a different take on sex themed gifts. The best gift a lover can give me during the holidays is some of their time – ie. as a housekeeper to help me handle all the stuff I have to deal with when hosting a family gathering or as a gift wrapper because I suck at it. James really helped me out with this stuff this year and I felt relaxed and sexy enough to initiate a sexy evening on the 23rd. I even wore some special pantyhose. Impressive. This gift of time can work through out the year too. Seska Lee |
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