Hit
Me With Your Best Shot
Part
1
The White
Stuff
Let's start off
with the basics. Male ejaculate, the substance that also goes by the
name of cum, gunk, jism, man goo, syrup, yogurt, seed, toffee, gizz,
juice, syrup and semen. According to various sources it is made up
of: boutonia, ascorbic acid, blood-group antigens, calcium, chlorine,
cholesterol, choline, citric acid, creatine, deoxyribonucleic acid
(DNA), fructose, glutathione, hyaluronidase, inositol, lactic acid,
magnesium, nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium, purine, pyrimidine, pyruvic
acid, sodium, sorbitol, spermidine, spermine, urea, uric acid, vitamin
B12, and zinc. A teaspoon of ejaculate is estimated to have 5-7 calories.
Its nutritional value is often exaggerated though. You'll need to find
another incentive guys to have your gal swallow the stuff. When it
comes to protein and zinc, she is better off eating kidney beans. However,
sexually transmitted infections aside, the white stuff is not bad for
you either. When it comes to consumption, it ends up being a matter
of personal taste - literally.
Now that we know
what we are dealing with, let's look at what goes on when a man ejaculates.
First off, sperm is produced in the testicles.
Fun Fact: In
most men, the left testis hangs lower than the right one.
Sperm production
takes about 74 days to complete. The testes contain highly coiled seminiferous
tubules in which the male sex cells are initially produced and stored.
The tubules collect into ducts, which leave into one single tube called
the epididymis. It lies along the back surface of each testis. In this
a twenty-foot long tightly coiled threadlike tube sperm is stored and
matured. After storage they are released into the vas deferens. The
vas deferens are two small tubes that carry the sperm into the fluid
producing glands. The prostate gland, the seminal vesicles, and the
Cowper's glands produce the secretions that become part of the seminal
fluid. This is the liquid in which the sperm swim. It provides the
sperm with its motility and nutrition. The sperm makes up 2% of the
ejaculate and the other fluids the remaining 98%.
When it comes to
the process of ejaculation, here is what occurs. First we have the
emission stage. Nerve impulses located in the ejaculatory center of
the spinal cord cause rhythmic contractions to occur with the epididymis,
the vas deferens, the seminal vesicles and the prostate gland. These
contractions move the contents of these glands and ducts into the urethra,
where they combine to make semen. This is when we reach the point where
the man in question feels the inevitability of cumming. Then, we have
the expulsion stage. The muscles at the base of the penis contract
rhythmically and expel the semen from the urethra in sudden spurts.
The average volume of the semen is ½ to 1 teaspoonful.
Well, that is the
composition and mechanics of male ejaculate. We'll move onto some of
the more alluring aspects of the experience in the next installment.
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Part
2
Come On In – Come
On Out
Let’s begin
by breaking it into two categories: internal and external. The most
common reason in every day sexual experiences for ejaculating outside
of one’s partner is “coitus interuptus”. Not a very
good form of birth control, the withdrawal method (also called “pulling
out”) is said to be one of the best ways to become parents.
Not-So-Fun Fact:
The withdrawal method has a 30% failure rate. Compared to oral contraceptives,
which have an 8% failure rate and condoms, which have a 15% failure
rate.
Once you leave your
teenage years, external cumshots have more to do with fun than conception
prevention (let’s hope so because who needs to have that kind
of birth control anxiety as an adult – we have enough things
to worry about). So when it comes to fun, where do most people want
to a guy to ejaculate? I haven’t been able to find any hard statistics
about it, but from personal experience (on and off camera), besides
just ejaculating inside or wherever the penis in question happens to
be, the face has become a popular one. Some people see this act (known
as a facial) as being demeaning to women. My friend Laura thinks that
is bullshit. “When I sit down on my boyfriend’s face and
squirt all over him, no one says that is degrading. If he leaves his
juices on my face, I do not see it any differently. It is a beautiful
experience.”
I tend to agree.
Unless, the guy in question is saying mean and rude things without
the gal’s consent, I cannot see how ejaculation on the face is
degrading. And I think that applies to most any act, sexual or otherwise.
If people are doing it out of some fun loving, then it is a fun and
loving thing. My friend Patricia is another big fan of the facial.
She enjoys taking it on the face and playing with it a bit. It makes
her feel sexy. I agree with this though it was not always the case.
I remember the first
time a guy came on me. I asked him to do it. I was attracted to the
idea of him covering me with his fluid. I had never seen any kind of
explicit porn or read anything referring to ejaculation in an erotic
way. The idea of being covered in his semen came from my own imagination.
Unfortunately, the end result was disappointing. I think I expected
there to be gallons of it. When my guy came inside me quite a bit seeped
out over the next couple of hours. At least it seemed like a lot. A
misperception on my part. The volume was the same. The experience was
different. It just was not what I had fantasized about.
Once I was with guy
number two (that would be James - my husband) I began exploring again
the whole “cum on me” encounter. This time I had more realistic
expectations. I had a better understanding of the difference between
what I fantasized in my head and the reality of the situation. Consequently,
I was much more easily satisfied by the experience of having him explode
onto me. I found it to be a whole lot of fun.
We experimented with
him ejaculating on my breasts, on my ass, on my face, and on my feet.
All good stuff. I didn’t enjoy the ejaculation in the eye thing
though. It just burns, and when it comes to sex, I have found burning
to be a turn off, not a turn on and I have yet to meet someone who
enjoys that kind of burn.
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3
Come On In
When it comes to
porn you do see a whole lot of external cumshots. The reasoning seems
to be that it offers proof of the guy’s orgasm. Too bad we can’t
have that with women. It would make both porn and every day sex a little
simpler for the folks who wonder, “did she cum?” But I
digress. There is another reason that external cumshots abound in porn.
Sexual entertainment. Seeing a guy cum on a pretty gal can be a real
turn-on for some people.
That being said,
different people have different preferences when it comes to male ejaculation
and what they like to see versus what they like to do. If you take
porn as your model for what most people do sexually, then you would
think external popshots are the norm, but like most forms of entertainment
porn should not be used as an example of how most people have sex or
should have sex. It is a visual aid for arousal and entertainment,
not a documentary of a typical sexual event. So with that in mind,
I decided to get to the truth of the matter. I decided to do an informal,
totally unscientific, poll of some of my straight friends (both in
and out of the porn industry) to find out what they enjoy when it comes
to cumshots.
Most of the guys
and gals said that having the guy cum inside was the ideal. People
of both sexes said they enjoyed the act of intercourse and the build
up to his orgasm. When the guy ejaculates inside (vaginally usually,
but anally as well), my friends said it feels good both physically
and emotionally.
Fun Fact: Once
ejaculated, sperm have a life expectancy within the female reproduction
tract from 48 to 72 hours.
It seems that recently
in porn the internal cumshot is making a resurgence. I think it has
to do with the use of condoms in porn and in everyday life. For good
reason more people, both in and out of the sex industry, are taking
responsibility for protecting their partners and themselves from STI’s
and using condoms. However, it has become almost taboo to see people
exchanging bodily fluids. So seeing a cream pie (when the ejaculate
oozes out of the vagina) seems to be a hot new commodity in porn. I
think it also almost fetishizes it for those of us who are strict with
condoms. It admittedly feels better for guys (and many gals) to have
sex without a condom, but for practical purposes it is not an option
for many people. So doing it bareback, as the saying goes, can be a
fantasy in a world where we depend on condoms for ensuring our health
and well-being.
comment Part
4
Gulp ! Gulp!
Swallowing ejaculate
can be seen as a sign of intimacy and rightly so if one considers it
from a safer sex perspective. Just like bareback blow jobs swallowing
does increase the risks of sexually transmitted infections. What I
discuss in the following paragraphs is best applied to monogamous or
fluid bonded couples.
When it comes to
swallowing a man’s ejaculate, there are some challenges. It can
be seen as an important expression of acceptance and if one’s
partner cannot or will not take semen in his/her mouth it can cause
some tension between partners. It might be sociological, psychological
or physical, but some people just have a gag reflex and experience
trouble when having ejaculate in their mouth. If your partner is not
interested in swallowing perhaps there is something else he/she is
interested in doing with your ejaculate – like taking it on the
face or chest. Perhaps they would be interested in sharing it with
you (i.e. snowballing - transferring it from one person’s mouth
to another). However, I feel if someone is not interested in a specific
sexual act it is just not worth pushing the issue. If you focus on
just one aspect of sexual activities you do you and your partner a
disservice. Focus on what you both find enjoyable rather than obsess
on what is not on the menu. Sure, you can talk about why you or your
partner is not into a certain act like swallowing and see if there
are ways you can address the issue, but in the end you need to respect
your partner’s limits.
Now, if you or your
partner wants to take ejaculate in the mouth, but is having a bit of
trouble here are a few suggestions on how to better deal with it.
The texture of ejaculation
can vary depending on the individual, his age and how recent he has
previously ejaculated. Younger guys tend have larger loads than older
guys. The size of the load is also said to increase with managed abstinence
(daily orgasms and then taking a couple of days off). So if swallowing
is an issue, perhaps if the guy has already ejaculated one or two times
already that day, the third time will be less troublesome for swallowing.
After ejaculation
the semen changes from a liquid to a gel like consistency and then
back to a liquid. Swallowing or licking up the semen might be easier
to do when it is in its liquid form (rather than the gel like congealed
form). If your partner is determined, but has that gag reflex, swallowing
it right away or leaving it on a body part for a couple of minutes
before licking it up can be helpful.
If you are really
determined to swallow generating as much saliva as one can before getting
the semen in one’s mouth can help dilute it, as can drinking
some water or a sweet drink before and right after you swallow.
There are also some
food choices that might make the task (and the substance) more palatable.
Dropping dairy from one’s diet is said to help, as does avoiding
asparagus and alkaline-based foods such as meat and fish (which can
produce a bitter taste). Acidic foods, such as fruits, sweets, and
alcohol are supposed to give bodily fluids a pleasant, sugary flavour.
For example, the much talked about pineapple. I personally have not
found this to be helpful with the guys I have swallowed. My personal
experience tells me some guys taste good, others upset my stomach and
there is nothing either they or I can do about it. This is a big bummer
because I do enjoy swallowing from time to time.
I am sorry I cannot
offer people foolproof tips, but like most every other aspect of sexuality
people’s turn ons and turn offs vary and their motivations are
complex. As always it is best to keep an open mind, communicate with
your partners and be open to compromise.
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