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Buying Your First Sex Toy by Sebastian Yeung Buying your first sex toy, but can't choose the right
dildo, vibrator, massager or stimulator? There's so many choices out
there! How do you pick the right toy for you? Choosing your first sex toy can almost be like a meditation on your personal needs & desires. It's a gift you give to yourself. When you consider the range of toys available on the market, ask yourself: 'what gives me pleasure?' Remember, every woman's body is unique. There is no 'right way', or 'wrong way' to stimulate yourself. With that in mind where do you start? First, let's distinguish between the different types of toys available. Dildos are non-vibrating toys that are inserted in the vagina or anus. Dildos that are made specifically for anal play should have a flared base, to prevent the toy from being lost. Vibrators is a term for any toy that vibrates. They come in all shapes & sizes, from micro-vibes that fit under your clothes, to huge, plug-in models that resemble other home appliances. Massagers are vibrators, by another name. They are usually made by the same companies that make your home appliances (Hitachi, GE, etc.), and are packaged & marketed in a non-sexual, neutral manner. You can find massagers in major department or drug stores. Some of them can be quite large (like the Hitachi Magic Wand); others can have interchangeable attachments. The old cliché 'Your eyes are bigger than your stomach', definitely applies to dildos, and vibrators for penetration. For your first toy, it's a good idea to start small. When we see dildos on the shelf or in the catalogues, they all look impressive, but unless you know how much you can take, it can be disappointing (and discouraging), if you choose a dildo that is too large and uncomfortable for your body. There are a couple of ways to size yourself at home. First is the 'Cucumber Test.' Peel a cucumber and taper it so that it is narrower at the tip, and widens at the base. Insert the cucumber gently, and when you feel the stretch that you like, measure the diameter at that point. Generally, most dildos & vibrators are around 1 1/2" in diameter (the same width as an average erect penis). The slimmest toys are 1/2", and can be as wide as 4". Do not be intimidated by the length of the toy. They are generally 6 - 7" long, although some of them can be as short as 2", or as long as 30". They do not need to be inserted completely. Use the end of the dildo as a handle to direct the toy inside you. The other test is to insert 2 or 3 fingers, then use the width of your fingers to measure the dildos in the store. Depending on your preference, you can find toys that are either hard, or soft. Hard toys can be made of chrome, hard plastic or acrylic (lucite). Some women prefer the power of a hard vibe (especially for deep, G-spot orgasms). They are more direct, and they carry vibrations better. Softer toys are usually made of two materials: latex rubbers or silicone. Latex is the more common (and less expensive) material. It's soft, pliable and moulds easily to the body. It can be opaque, or clear (jelly). Because it is soft, it acts as a buffer for vibrations. It absorbs some of the vibes, creating a smooth, gentle massage. The versatility of jellies & latex allows them to be moulded into any shape & size. There is currently a growing trend towards silicone toys. In the past, they were rare and difficult to find, as the manufacturers are small, cottage industries. But with growing health concerns (latex allergies, the need to sterilize toys), and with discriminating consumers demanding better quality & original artistic designs, silicone is becoming the material of choice. Silicone toys are unique, because they are hand-made in small batches. It is hypo-allergenic and non-porous, so it does not absorb lubricants (or your natural juices), creating a smoother, silkier feeling. It is resistant to temperature, so you can sterilize it in boiling water (for 3 min), or pop it in the fridge for a cool sensation. It is firmer than latex, but supple and flexible at the same time. Because the original toys are hand-crafted by artisans, they are slightly more costly (but well worth it). Many people build their collection one piece at a time. A new material has been developed recently. Sometimes it is known as 'cyberskin' or 'futurotic' material. These are silicone compounds that have been processed to resemble & feel exactly like human skin. Like all silicones, they are easily cleaned & sterilized. As well, these toys are a bit more delicate, so do be careful not to let them rip or tear. To keep them fresh, they need to be washed, then powdered with cornstarch to keep them from sticking. If you care for your toy, it will last you for ages. Clean latex toys in water & vinegar. If they are dildos (no motors), then you can pop them in a sink full of soapy water. Some people throw them in the dishwasher, but it depends on how durable your toy is. Silicone toys can be washed & boiled, or tossed into the dishwasher. Cyberskins should only be washed by hand and left to dry on the counter. All vibrators must be washed by hand, with care that the motor does not get wet. Good luck, and happy vibing. ** Sebastian Yeung is the owner of Joy Toyz. |
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