Hi! My name is Seska. Thank you for being here. Where is here? It’s my little spot on the web where I share my take on life, love and sex. Yes, I call it Seskuality.
I want to start off with a confession. Perhaps an obvious one. I’m a bit of a geek. I geek out on all things related to sexuality AND on all things related to mindfulness.
The reason is simple – I find sexuality and mindfulness FASCINATING and LIFE AFFIRMING. Exploring them both has led me down a very satisfying – albeit unpredictable – path. I’ve learned so much!
Why so interested in sex ed?
Because sexuality is an integral part of our humanity and we have made it confusing, shameful and divisive. And, all Network style, I just won’t take it anymore.
Sex is not just for reproduction or marital bonding. It’s definitely not limited by what we see in the one-dimensional media representations of sex and sexiness.
It’s so much more!
It allows us to connect with others AND our sense of self. It gives us the opportunity to look inward into our hopes and fears, the stories we have created and tell ourselves. Sexuality allows us to investigate the ways we experience the pleasures and pains of our psychological, emotional and physical worlds.
It’s complex and fascinating!
As corny as it sounds I see it as a beautiful gift – an opportunity to explore the spectrum of human experiences – a way to play with the mind-body connection in meaningful, demanding and exhilarating ways.
We have a problem.
We live in a really sex negative world. Sure, sexuality is in advertising, music, TV, films and all over the Internetz. Based on what you see and hear you’d assume we live in a society that is comfortable with sex. No way. What we are surrounded by is a fear driven version of sexuality. The messages we get set us up for disappointment and disillusionment. We have so many anxieties and insecurities. It’s very destructive. The opposite of what sex should be about – creation, connection, expansion and pleasure!
What about accurate sex information? Most of us never got it growing up. We needed it then and we need it now. Myths and misconceptions drive our current conversations on sex. Judgement is in there too. It’s so unfortunate and very dangerous.
So the reality is that instead of connection and bliss we have separation, compartmentalization and disgust. This does not make for good sex or a satisfying life experience. This sucks.
I want to help change our status quo by talking about the ways we can think and experience sexuality without shame and guilt. I want to explore how sexuality is a part of us in a holistic and integrated way. I want to help you approach your sex life with a fresh mind and an open heart – with accurate, comprehensive sex information, self awareness and compassion.
This is where mindfulness comes in.
Mindfulness is the practice of maintaining a nonjudgmental state of heightened or complete awareness of one’s thoughts, emotions, or experiences on a moment-to-moment basis (Merriam Webster Dictionary).
Lots of people associate it with Buddhism, but it can be found in most religions and it is also something that has nothing to do with religion at all. Sitting meditation is one way of accessing mindfulness’ benefits, but there is walking meditation, breathing exercises, yoga, and cognitive awareness techniques too.
If you think this all too touchy feely, keep in mind that there is awesome science to back up the benefits of meditation and mindfulness when it comes to stress, productivity and handling conflict. It is pretty nifty. Even niftier to me is how we can use mindfulness techniques when it comes to our sex lives.
Have a look around to learn more about the hows and whys of combining sexuality with mindfulness. In the BLOG there are over 100 articles from the fun and the humorous to the in-depth and well-researched – all looking at life, love and sex with curiosity and kindness.
I also lead WORKSHOPS related to sexuality, mindfulness and joy.
I look forward to sharing this journey in mindful sexuality with you.
All my best,